Notes on Being a Man

The past is prologue to everything and nothing. A big part of my belief system—where I give money and the issues I focus on—is shaped by a belief that no person or institution can predict greatness or failure in an eighteen-year-old, much less an eight-year-old. America is about watering as many plants as possible, not attempting to determine which seeds will become redwoods.

when speaking to UK audiences I’m often asked to compare and contrast the U.S. and the UK. “In sum,” I like to say, “America is an organism whose DNA was inherited from people who all took risks”—pause—“and you’re the ones who stayed.”

The world is not yours for the taking but for the trying

The world’s most qualified, impressive people have one thing in common: they weren’t qualified to do what they did. I’ve met my share of tech billionaires. They’re impressive people, but less impressive than you think. Taking risks, being willing to feel like an imposter, is a key attribute of professional success—and masculinity

When did we decide obesity was more about finding your truth instead of finding type-2 diabetes and cardiovascular disease? The progressive left ignored Covid-19 data showing obesity was correlated with both increased severity and morbidity of symptoms while contributing to 30 percent of all hospitalizations. ... Obese people shouldn’t be shamed or bullied, but neither should empathy become enablement.

Therapy-speak permeates social media. Everyone’s a narcissist, a sociopath, has BPD, and knows their attachment style. At the same time, our culture is unsophisticated—genuinely stupid—about mental health.

action absorbs anxiety. Whenever you feel low, defeated, or frustrated, the best solution is to take action. Complaining is reactive; it wrecks momentum. Action restores agency, defeats inertia and self-criticism, and is always available.

Later he protested that no one else at the table besides us stood up. I told him this was an excellent observation, but he wasn’t everybody else.

When I got ketamine therapy, the medical director came into the room before injecting me, asked everyone to put out their hands, and said, Let’s pray. One or two decades ago, the assumption that I was religious would have bugged me (then again, we were in Texas). Now I thought, This is really nice, just being in the company of strangers, holding hands, wishing one another the best. There was no downside whatsoever.